Dear Alaskan sisters,
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Soon you will have a sojourner in your midst. I can’t be the one to make him happy due to the vows I made, but you can. If you meet such a person, please treat him only with kindness and keep an open mind, because he doesn’t hurt people and he does the right thing when it matters. You should be kind of psyched, by the way. Your awesome state is actually much improved now.
Your sister from a now shitty state